ASC-03-25-20

(This topic culled/harvested from a storytelling thread initiated by His Grace, Inman MacMoore on the Kingdom of Ansteorra Facebook group.)

TELL US THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE FIGHTING IN A TOURNEY!

His Grace, Duke Inman MacMoore

I'll start it off. A tournament in Eldern Hills. Third or fourth round. I was fighting Gerard. We weren't "Sirs" in those days. Some may remember when basketball pads served as knee and elbow armor and we wore them underneath our clothes along with our football jocks and cups to hide the mundane. I was wearing an old pair of draw string karate pants. I digress. We were both trying to gain an advantage when I saw my opening, and true to form, made my explosive close -- whereupon I found myself face down in the dirt. Being a bit shaken and confused, I just lay there for a minute when I heard the marshals yelling hold and the sound of running feet. I tried to get up but something was wrong with my legs and Sir Finn was trying to cover me with his cloak. With the marshals close around me, they picked me up. I looked down. Then saw the awful truth. The drawstring was broken and my pants were around my ankles. I was wearing nothing underneath but my jock strap. I knew my ass was in the wind. It wasn't until I had my pants back up that I realized that I had my back to the Thrones. I yielded the fight at once and went like a wounded deer toward my camp to hide. I had shown my ass to the populace assembled and I had mooned the Queen. My SCA career was over.

His Grace, Duke Jean-Paul de Sens

I was fighting in Northkeep’s Drighton tournament. Single sword round. Fighting Vigge Jonsson. I swing and close aggressively, and Wiggen slips left as I completely miss. He throws a wrap shot that hits me in the front of the belly. The embarrassing cherry on top of this embarrassment sundae is that because he really threw his hips into it, it looked like he was, ahem, having relations with me. The video is mortifying, let me tell you.

His Excellency, Earl Barn Silveraxe

I believe it was at a Mooneshadowe Guardian, I had not built my own mace, and it was a Swiss 5. Sir Hildebrande offered me his and I accepted. He handed it to me and I started thinking "Dear Lord how does he swing this thing?" (It was a little on the heavy side.) My opponent threw his shot and I flat-snapped him upside his helmet. The mace exploded in a spray of water, and my opponent went to his knees. It had rained the night before and Hilde had left his mace out in the rain. I felt so sorry for my opponent that I immediately yielded the fight.