NSTIW: Gulf Wars

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Year Unknown

  • Elayne MacDuncan of Eldern Hills: "The first time I went to Gulf War, in the wee hours of the morning, I heard the pipes. There was someone off in the distance, playing pipes. And it was… Oh my god!! This! Is! Awesome! Just the awe, of seeing all the tents, and how many people were there!"
  • The Tale of Owen and JP and the Golf Cart


1996: Gulf Wars VI

The Tale of the Scotsman

Owen ap Aeddan ap Trahearn ap Llewellyn ap Gruffudd ap Gwent ap Bredd ap Camden ap Anarward: (I had just left the Barony of Namron, I am currently in Wiesenfeuer, and I started playing in the (at the time) Shire of Mooneschadowe.)

Now, this was Gulf Wars 6, and I had not gotten to go to Gulf Wars 5, because no one would help me with my armor. I had a $50 starter set from Inman, and my armor did far more damage to me, because I put it together badly when I first started fighting, than any opponent has ever done to me. (And that is a different story.)

"The Scotsman” involved that I was dating a certain lady at the time, and I had plenty of money to my name because I was a young man and I’d just gotten my student financial aid. And I’d gone to Gulf War, and I was searching for an appropriate gift to give my lady, for she had worked very, very hard to take care of the people that we had taken to Gulf War 6, which was almost the entire Shire of Mooneschadowe. And, while I was out shopping, I was wearing my Liondragon Guard tabard. I came upon a merchant, and he was from Ansteorra. He had a whole table full of stuff. And as I came up, and was looking around, this GIANT of a human being steps up to the table, and says, "Good Merchant! I want *this* medallion, right here.” He points to this real pretty medallion that was on the table. The merchant’s wife was talking to him, and he says, "Good lady, do you barter?” And the lady said, "well… we *do* barter… what do you want to barter with?”

"I would like to get this medallion, and I would like to use this ax!” And he had this beeeeeeyoutiful throwing axe! It was absolutely gorgeous!

Well, they were negotiating. She said, "let me get my Lord, as this involves a weapon. I’ll let him discuss it with you, for he does all the bartering when it comes to weapons.”

And again, this man – *I* am not a small human, and this man made me look tiny – I mean, the kind of hand, that when they put it on your head, it wraps around your whole skull. Huge man. Little dinky throwing axe. So the merchant comes over, and they talk for a little bit longer, so I keep looking at stuff on the table. La-de-da-de-da…

The guy says, "Well, yeah, we do barter, but this throwing axe is WAAAAAY nicer than this medallion!”

The giant says, "My Lady saw this medallion. And of all the things I love in this world, I love my Lady the most. This medallion makes my Lady very happy. I need to get it for her. Unfortunately, I spent all of my coin getting my entire clan to Gulf Wars. So I don’t have any money, but I have this axe. I would like to trade this axe, for that medallion. "

The merchant says, "Well.. how did you come by this axe?”

The giant says, "I won this axe in a tournament where I became chief of my clan,” (and he listed off this very long Scottish clan name, that he was obviously very proud to be the head of).

And the shopkeeper says, "Man, that axe is really nice…it’s well balanced… how about we …” and they start negotiating extra stuff – sticks of rattan, and da-da-da-da-da… And while they’re negotiating, I walk up to the table, I pick up the medallion that he was pointing at, and I said, "Gooooood Merchant! How much for this medallion?” I tossed $40.00 on the table, and I turn to leave!

The big giant Scotsman is speechless. Stunned. Because I’m about to take that which will make his Lady Wife truly happy. And I tuuuuuuurn, before he can get his big meat paw on me, and I look up at him, and I say, "My lord. I, too, am out in search of something that would please my Lady. However, I have not found the item that she truly loves. And your Lady has found this, and she really wants this, and you really want to give it to her. I cannot, in good conscience, stand here, and let you give up this fantastic throwing axe for this medallion. Take this medallion. Give it to your Lady. Have a *great* War. And tomorrow, when we take the field, I would personally love to see you kill as many Trimerans as possible! A big guy like you could easily take ten or fifteen!”

And so the next day, we’re all geared up, and we’re ready for the field battle, and we’re heading to the field … do-do-do-do-do-do… The Liondragon Guard is marchin’ and singin’, we’re having a great time. We get to the field and we’re waiting for commands, and this big, giant Scotsman comes walking up! And he’s brought his liiiiiiitle bitty lady with him. He says, "my Lady, this is the lord who purchased the medallion for us.” And there’s tears in his eyes, and barely able to speak, he says to me that I have made this War for his Lady, and that it was one of the finest acts of honor and chivalry that he has ever seen.”

"My Lord,” I said, "All I did was the right thing. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to do it. You are an honorable and caring man. All that I ask of you, is that your Lady knows how much you love her, like you told the merchant how much you love her. . . AND I want you to kill a whole bunch of Trimerans!”

And.. I don’t know if they are still together. Being in the Society for Creative Anachronism, one can never assume, or place bets on that, but… For Gulf Wars 6, they were one of the happiest couples I’ve ever seen, until Kajira met Rabbit. It was inspiring to watch. And then watching him kill people on the field was pretty awesome, too, because like I said, the man was freaking monstrously huge.

But, uh, later on in the war, the merchant that I bought the pendant from was like, "That was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen! I want to give you something!”

I said, "Man, you’re from Ansteorra. You did not drive twelve plus hours to Gulf War so you could give away stuff. Let me buy a couple things from you, because I figure you’ve got some stuff. "

(And I used to wear this really medallion – it was the Eternal Couple – it had a little man, and a little woman, and they’re … kissing… (and something else..)

(Someone else speaks): "They’re .. embraced!”

Yes, embraced! Everywhere! In all their little pink parts. I would walk around and look at it, and (hehehehe) it would give me great satisfaction to look at my little medallion. That very same war, I was sitting there laughing at my medallion, and my sister, Gilyan walks up to me and says, "What’s so funny about that necklace?”

I said, ‘Heh heh … you can’t see it? Let me take it off! Let me show it to you!” And.. uh, she never did get it. I think she might get it now, but… she was young then.

But that is the tale of the Scotsman that I met in the SCA. And it was awesome.

"Go And Do What You’re Told!"

By Lord Julius De Orso, then known as Berengar von Kummerland

A little background: I was authorized to fight less than month before this war. I didn't have gauntlets. My kit could be called serviceable at best. What the LDG (Liondragon Guard) has become from these humble beginnings is such an amazing thing for these much older eyes and to this day warms my heart.

My favorite memory was defending the main gate. I was a shield man on the far left. Gunthar was to my right and Oxlade was behind us. For this battle, this was My Lance. For those who know, it is enough said. For those that don't: we stood to the last, having faced waves of charges Column, pulse wave, and full frontal assaults. We endured what seemed continuous spear barrages. I remember one time being pulled forward and bent almost in half and Guthar tabling his shield 90 degrees and keeping me alive. The only respite we received was when we stacked our dead foes before us in a grim wall and we still dared more to come.

There were times when I was facing up to three hooks on my shield. I remember believing this is my time to only be saved once again by Gunthar knocking a hook off or Oxlade fouling shots and them working the enemies before us. We were finally felled by enemies who had breached the sally port. I remember asking Oxlade, “How did the Sally port fall?”. He replied "It was not being held by us." A Trimarian nearby responded, “True Story. Don't worry kid, you may have lost the battle, but you kids just won the war." This was my favorite battle of the war and I don't think I threw an offensive shot for its entire duration. It was my job to stay alive and keep my lance alive. I could not stand the thought of having one them die because I reached for glory.

For reference, Duke Inman - whom I had never meet before - was fighting spear and grabbed me during the res battle. He told me I was going to be his personal shield men. My young self, not knowing any better, responded. “There are my other two lance members! We can wait and go together.” One of our commanders told me, “That is Duke Inman. You go and do what you are told.” I felt exposed without my lance members. It turns out, that Inman dude was very good with a spear and had a lot of knowledge to share. I learned a great deal and have fond memories of the rez battle, including my first kill of the war. It comes in a distance second to defending the main gate with the Liondragon Guard. Hail MOG!.

2000

Tessa of the Gardens: There was the year I initially began firing a ballista; I was never positive whether any-one inside the fort was hit by any of my attacking ballista bolts, but I knew without a doubt that I hit the western "wall" several times! That wall was dead, dead, dead! (When asked for more details, Tessa was able to provide: King Alaric Quintas Drake I, crowned in January, asked for each group to build a ballista for his spring GW; thus, Bordermarchers Simonn, Zain, and Ricciardo built a shooting machine manned by three, that would launch 5 bolts on target into a 5' -to- 7' circle, 300 ft away. We named the ballista "FireDrake," and hauled it to GW for several years. The machine I shot from at war, however, was a single bolt release belonging to someone else. You could hear the whooom, thud, of each bolt when it hit the wall and then see the bolt bounce back down to the ground on the outside of the wall... I don't think I ever hit anyone on the other side of the wall...

2003

Regarding the Mooneschadwe building of the doors of the Ansteorran Gate, Ollj Perala writes: "I think this is how it went:
King: "OK, who can do the gates?"
Courtier: "I know this cray dude named Ox up north who is really into his woodworking - like in a creepy sexual way. Bet I can get him to do it."
(time passes)
Ox: "F**k yeah I'll do it! How big?"
(gate design montage)
Ox: "Ima make these gates period. To the OSU Library!"
(library research and gate design montage)
Ox: "So I can make these things just like scaled down versions of the gates of the Krak des Chevaliers. They will weigh three tons each and be able to bounce cannon fire. Might cost a bit for all the oak, tar, and ironmongery though."
Courtier: "HOW heavy? How MUCH? ... No, no, not that heavy, and like 2% of that money."
Ox: "Ratzlefratzlecensoredicecream. OK, OK. Way lighter, wayyyy less money. ... I'm still gonna make them so they can bounce cannon fire though."
Courtier, rolling eyes: "Sure, sure, if you can do it under budget."
(montage on gate design, lumber shopping/pilfering, and squeeing at kitties.)
Ox: "Hey hey my Moone Units! I need like 10 of you to come over and screw my wood! Who's with me?
Mooneschadin: "Can we sing 'Tainted Love'?"
Ox: "Of course!"
(history happens)

2004: Gulf Wars XIII

Death By A Song

By Ermagerd:
'Once upon a time I slew the Trimarin army with a lament... Verily, bereft of excrement went I... at my first Gulf Wars I was Stargate's bard, and I dressed up in my snappiest duds to go do my bit for the war effort. I read in the schedule that the "Arts Melee" was the thing I was able to do, so I carried my several binders over to Bede Hall to do battle against all the other artisans. That year the Powers that Were decided that the static arts and the performing arts would be lumped in together for a populace vote, over a period of 5 hours. I was new, so when Willow Ann Lanphier Taylor suggested that we should take turns so that all the populace could judge us against the static displays, I didn't know any better and agreed. There was also a fellow from what would later become Glenn Abhann there, so it was 3 of us taking turns for 5 hours... with no water. I sang every song I knew and a few I didn't.

After several hours, a big gang of steaming soldiers clanked into the hall, blinded from coming in out of the bright sun, searching for an artisan from their kingdom to vote for, not knowing the entries were anonymous. Her Grace finished her story and turned to me, saying "Sing them some rousing song of battle and glory!" and I said "Um, I'm an Elizabethan madrigalist, and I don't know any such songs, I'll do my best..." So I called out to the soldiers, saying to them to come take their ease from the frenzy and blood of battle, and hear my song of what comes after the field, the sleep of death, the eternal rest... and when I had their attention I sang Weep You No More Sad Fountains by John Dowland. They sighed in unison and filed by me, each dropping a bead into my voting cup.

I didn't win the arts melee, but I did take out at least a dozen soldiers. I found out a year later that this had become a story that people had heard, and so I began to tell my side of the tale.

Ten years in, I told my tale at Gulf Wars, and a stranger stepped in saying he was the general who ordered the soldiers to go in and vote for a Trimarin artist by order of their king, and how the soldiers came out a little confused by what had happened to them. Once I'd heard his side of the story, my story got a little longer.

So now when I tell my tale, it's a story of a story of a story about a song I sang, about this one time I slew a Trimarin army with a sad song."

2013

Bjorn hestr Hauksson:: NSTIW, prepping for the toga known world party... Germanicus walks into the mess tent with a piece of duck tape in his hands. Sees me, gets a huge grin, walks over, places the tape adhesive first over my right nipple and surrounding hair, and before I can get past the denial phase of grief, proceeds to aggressively depilatorize a chunk of chest hair. I know I squeaked and I’m sure I levitated a bit...

2014

Ines Alfon: NSTIW... Friday night, this last Gulf Wars. The night of the Known World Party (you know the one!) I was sitting outside the fort on a couple of haybales with my brother and a friend, said friend was looking for people to attach "plague clothespins" to. A group comes up, hats and entourage... He looks and said, "Ahh, a baroness". I turn and say, "No, not A baroness, that's MY baroness."

She hears me, turns and looks, and says and "that's my herald!" We meander, and conversation somehow turns to processions. and I got that little Skippy tingle in my bones.

I asked my baronage, "Would you like to be processed into the Known World Party?" They looked at me, looked at each other, back at the entourage, and start to hem a bit when my friend says "No one has processed in tonight" Well, that lit up the eyes of my baron, who started pushing for it (well, in addition to my pleas - I did jump up and down a bit, and beg. A woman in a cotehardie jumps well). After a discussion, it was agreed. I had already been stamped, so awaited my excellencies pleasure at the front of the stamp-line.

After they stamped in and the entourage was in place I called in my best voice, stopping conversation at least eight crowded rows deep.
"Oye! Oye! Unto the the Known World Greetings, Herein comes their Ursine Excellencies, the Baron Philippe and the Baroness Suzanne, of the great Barony of Bjornsborg from the Stellar Kingdom of Ansteorra!"

I bowed them in, and they and entourage parade-waved through the crowd that parted silently for a few moments, and then erupted in much... conversation :) I am told I made at least one crown jealous. Ahhh, I love Gulf War, and I love my Barony

Bjorn hestr Hauksson: NSTIW. Bridge battle, was using a Dansk åx, playing whackamole, suddenly felt my feet leave the ground as I ate a column charge from 3 o’clock. Lashed out with the ax and caught the second guy in the charge. The press locked my ax on him, and pulled the front four Trimarans over the hay bales after me. So there I sat, under 700+ pounds of Trimaran linebreakers, cackling like a madman. Got my own hold called and everything - marshal footsteps ran up - "OMG, is he ok??? Oh, He’s laughing..."

2015

Sarah Bellian: Zain Mountain-Gate and I, along with a Calontir rapier unicorn, and Northshield, I think, - as well as the King of the East - were charged with threatening a flag on the far right in the rapier ravine that we ended up taking and holding because Trimaris let us have it. In that same battle Simonn Amber was not expected to fight, it was thought by some that another was wearing his armor until the line rolled on the far left completely because he killed basically everyone on it. So began the meme, "Sir Simonn enters the ravine, Trimaris retreats." A very lopsided Ansteorran victory; the exact score I don't recall. Much fun.
Tessa of the Gardens: (More info for above: Simonn was not expected on the field after having been treated for cancer and been near death's door at the end of 2014... fed by a tube into his abdomen until Jan, 2015. Survived, determined to fight again...)

2016: Gulf Wars XXV - "GulfNado"

Caitilin inghean Ronain ui Cheallaigh: " I was at that GW. The Barony of Stargate's Baronial Pavilion fell down with people inside (no one was seriously, though it gave everyone a fright. I was inside my tent holding a wall that tried to collapse while 60 mph winds blew around us. Wow! What a day!"

Alexander MacThomas: I'm pretty sure Cataldo Querini held court in the Bryn Gwylad Baron's tent, over the newly founded Loch Gwylad...
Cataldo Querini: That is correct. I seem to recall my title (certainly completely approved and official, with my writ likely sitting on some Royal's desk somewhere) being: His Itinerant Excellency of Bryn Gwlad and Lord of Loch Gwlad, Steward of the Tent, Hot Beverages, and Fyrst Aide Kit.

Moira Lindsay: The BFT ("Big F'ing Tent") is fun to pilot, but the landing is a bit tricky...
Katalina Ana de Salamanca: You have to admit it, we stuck the landing!
[Moira clarifies, "The BFT is the huge tent that goes up behind the Ansteorran gate at gulf wars. It started raining right after dinner, and then the winds went nuts. Some of us who sought refuge in the BFT ended up literally piloting the thing because it tried to take off. I don't know how many people were all there, but I was on a pole holding it down with Her Majesty Conal and Baroness Genevieve. Some guys from up north were singing war songs.... I think there's video."

Alexander MacThomas: (During the microburst) I was taking shelter in one of the hard standing latrines with Cataldo Querini, Tobias Geluecke, and Cecily Grace MacBean, and the (then) King of Calontir (Matsunaga Kagetora) gave us all a class on hiding your body's movements behind a buckler, and also how a righty would get around a lefty's war-door.

Karl Thorgeirsson: No shit, I was night Exchequer and down at troll when the microburst hit. I was looking out the window and saw a blue porta-john spinning and sliding as it was blown across the parking lot. I had a genuine Dr. Who moment because I saw the Turdis.

Lucia Piazetta
The storm blew in and the rain came down
This little potty stood its ground.

The wind did howl and the wind did wail
This little potty would not fail.

It's brethren fell one by one
This little potty would not run.

Duty bound, there was still need
Because half the camp had not yet peed.

Despite the gale and loss of friend
This little potty stood until the end.

The people did come from near and far
To see the little blue potty that won the war!

Yzabeau Brossier
I have yet another Gulfnado story for you. One of chivalry and honor. (And just happens to be about my favorite Squire, Alexandre Crane.) Lady Marita Boë and I just started a transportation shift when the storm started to blow in. They called us off our noble golf carts and into the guard house, where we spent the vast majority of the storm huddled in the back, listening to radio panic. While the storm still raged, Alexandre appeared in the doorway, soaked to the skin and cold, having been searching for me. (While I was warm and dry in the guard house.) I asked what he had been doing, and he replied he had spent the storm holding down the Whitacre Family Pavilion, doing his duty as a squire. I told him I would go back with him to help, but he told me to stay where I was and to find him after the storm blew over. (I am not typically one to change my course of action just because someone tells me to, but the warmth and overall dryness convinced me to stay.) When I tried to get him to stay with us, he refused. So I handed him the poncho I had put on before my transportation shift, and he went back down the road. Once the storm had cleared, I slogged my way through the mud to our encampment, only to find him running around, helping every place he could. In Northkeep's camp, he had helped pull the group pavilion out of the muck, at Whitacre, he had spent the entire storm cold rain running down his arms and back, physically holding down the pavilion (along with many others) to keep the newly painted and absolutely beautiful pavilion from flying away. Hours later, I finally had the chance to pin him down and force him to change out of his sopping wet clothes, because he just wanted to keep helping. He has made proud on both the chivalric and rapier field many times, but I have never been prouder than I was after Gulfnado, hearing how long and hard he worked, and how many he helped.

2017: Gulf Wars XXVI

Katalina Ana de Salamanca: So there I was, following my baron into the gates of the castle with nothing but a spear. I died and looked around for the closest large shield I could "borrow" and there was a nice lad from Calontir right next to me. I asked him if I could crawl in underneath just as the "lay on!" was called so I couldn't really hear his response, I just jumped under.

In an effort to be friendly I asked him where he was from and if he was enjoying his war, but got little in the way of response. Apparently he was new to the whole " being used as a human barricade / spring board" thing. Then he muttered something.

"Sorry, what was that?"

" I said I'm claustrophobic and I'm going to throw up!"

"Ah...right...HOLD! HOLD! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HOLD!!!"

2018

Wulfgard Martel: So, this last year, as Dionadair of Northkeep, I went to the commanders meeting. General Romanius told us that the sally gate of the castle was in too much disrepair to use. This sounded less than fun.

So after the commanders meeting, I grabbed Lord Sette for a consult and we went to look at these busted gates. We surmised that for the cost of some 2x6s, bolts, and hinges, and some work... We could have working gates the next day. Although we were a little worried about who to ask for permission... that was a problem for future us and we would just be sneaky.

We had a gate shift that night so we sent Oswald and Lord Gavriel on a supply run. My Knight, Jason Drysdale looked at me a little odd when I ghosted on the party and so forth, so I told him, "Don't worry, you'll probably be happy I did this tomorrow morning.”

So around midnight, we hooked up our saw in camp (I brought an excessive amount of tools that year) and pre-cut the wood. We grabbed Lord Dimitri and went to the gate.

Now... We didn't have a hack saw, but we did have a hack saw blade, and two vicegrips... Which meant that at one point we short dwarfs were standing on top of two hay bales cussing the stupid bolts as we were cutting them with a rigged up shank of a saw.

Also we had one battery on our driver and over 100 screws and 36 lag bolts to drill out and set, plus a large number of bolts to remove... And this battery.... It was like a Hanukkah miracle. The driver kept going and had power until the last inch of the last lag bolt.

So, at 2 a.m., twelve hours after General Romanius had said we couldn't use the sally gates, we had working gates.

So the next day, as we mustered for the town battle, I grabbed my knight (At the time, he was Prince) and finally asked for permission/forgiveness. "Hey boss, is it okay if we fixed those gates last night? "

And that's the story of how the Ansteorran Dwarven Sapping Crew fixed the sally gates overnight.